Author Archives: Ellis Dean
Obama Comforts Bush
Dear Former President Bush, Please accept my sincere apologies for the discomfort you must feel in having been invited to speak at the recent Young Presidents’ Organization conference in Denver, Colorado. It is my understanding that you were invited long … Continue reading
Thencomma > Nowcomma: Nuclear Winter Solves Global Warming!
Is Nowcomma influencing scientific thought inside the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)? A recent study indicates that NASA may indeed have referenced key findings from Ellis Dean’s 20-year old report, recently re-published at Nowcomma.com. As noted at The Huffington Post: Scientists from NASA and … Continue reading
Barack Obama on the Art of Compromise
By virtue of my unilateral commitment to compromise, my response is to concede whatever the Republicans want. It takes two to tangle. Only takes one to compromise. Continue reading
The United States of Lord Jesus Christ
As told to Ellis Dean God blessed America. He done it when he rote the American Constitution of the United States. This was the year Jesus was born, praise the Lord. He done it because he loves America and what … Continue reading
Thencomma: Nuclear Winter Solves Global Warming!
by Ellis Dean (January, 1991) Environmental scientists at the Sununu Higher Institute of Technology (SHIT) yesterday announced a solution to so-called “global warming,” which allegedly results from depletion of the ozone layer above the Earth. “Although we do not accept … Continue reading
Not Paid to Think
You know what a socialist is? A terrorist with a fancy name. Anyone who wants to give all their money to socialist politicians, raise your hands! Hmmm, let’s see, I don’t see any hands in the air. Did you hear that, Mr. Hussein Socialist? Americans don’t want to give your socialist government all their money. Continue reading
The Emperor’s New Jacket
Corbis/Getty See my new jacket? Isn’t it a lovely new jacket? The most magnificent jacket in the land! My tailors made it for me with special cloth. You can always tell a good Emperor by whether he wears a jacket in … Continue reading
New Pledge For A New Era
by Ellis Dean The American flag is a distinctive symbol that has stirred Americans throughout our history. But as a symbol, it is at best a second-hand representation of the defining substance of America. As we have seen, … Continue reading
The Big Game: God Talks Football and Obama with Rick Warren
As told by Ellis Dean God sat down hard on the couch and cracked open an O’Doul’s. He rolled the cold bottle against His swollen cheek, where an impacted wisdom tooth had been troubling Him for weeks. I had gently … Continue reading
John McCain’s “All You Can Hate” Buffet
by Ellis Dean (Note: A version of this piece first appeared on Huffington Post.) October 14, 2008 The history of political violence in America is a well-documented disgrace, and is not to be taken lightly. It is almost exclusively relegated to … Continue reading
Push the pea!
by Ellis Dean Every day I push the pea Look at me – I pushed the pea! They pay me to push the pea It makes my Mom so proud of me One, two, three, push the pea The … Continue reading
Is God Our Witness?
by Ellis Dean A version of this blog was published on Huffington Post on 9.11.08. Progressives have tiptoed for years through the minefield of religion in politics, too intimidated by its perpetrators to speak up. But by picking Sarah Palin … Continue reading
It’s Not An Election – It’s An IQ Test
by Ellis Dean The 2008 presidential election is actually not an election at all. It’s a collective IQ test. If we fail it, we may have missed our last opportunity to reverse America’s relentless pursuit of ignorance before we pass … Continue reading
I So Don’t Care
by Chaz Kent Yeah, right. Like I’m gonna waste my time working on some political campaign. Politicians are all corrupt. There’s no difference between the two parties. They’re both owned by corporate interests. Who also own all the voting … Continue reading
Trust Shunned: Barack Obama and the Price of Betrayal
by Ellis Dean Let me begin by acknowledging the obvious difficulties of a dirty business. Regardless of your political persuasion, it can’t be easy to be a politician. Hair-splitting and hedging, however distasteful to anyone with a high regard for … Continue reading
